A Revolution of No Significance
“Did you hear?”
“What now?”
“The president has saved democracy by restoring constitutional governance and accountability to the entire executive branch.”
“Oh, he has.”
“From now on, he will impose continuity and consistency by interpreting the law for the entire executive branch and all the agencies. That way they won’t make a mess of it anymore. Pam Bondi is going to help him.”1
“What agencies?”
“The FTC, the FCC, and the SEC, for starters.2 He’ll review their priorities. He’ll decide their strategic plans. He’ll cancel any stupid regulations they issue. He’ll set their performance standards. And he’ll tell them how much money they’re getting.”
“It’s a gift. He couldn’t have given us a more succinct case. Draw up the articles of impeachment now.”
By the end of the day articles of impeachment had been drawn up and delivered to the Senate, who forthwith voted unanimously to convict President Donald J. Trump of attempting to usurp the law-making powers of congress and arrogate them to himself. Announcements, directions, and alarums were proclaimed that the impeached president was to be removed from office and returned to Mar-a-Lago, where they were hoping he wouldn’t notice any difference.
How wrong they were! The next thing they knew, Trump Social had announced to the entire Trump world that all U.S. senators and U.S. representatives had been stripped of their responsibilities, positions, and titles for the heinous treason they had committed in impeaching the president. Before a soul could get out, the Capitol was surrounded by Trump’s generals, newly installed in their strange positions (they had never been generals before) and just a little confused by the commotion. Despite consternation and disbelief, they worked their forces nimbly to implement the commander-in-chief’s unusual instructions. It took a mere quarter-hour for soldiers to enter the building and in formation sweep through halls, comb through chambers and offices, and proceed to herd the dumbfounded congressional members out to the waiting police vans as Trump watched from The Beast. While the military emptied out, shut down, and locked up the Capitol, Trump made a little call to ever-ready Elon Musk to instruct him to tell his college grad spark plugs to delete from the vast databases of Washington D.C. all records, accounts, email addresses, and passwords of the traitors. And so they did, in an instant.
“Oh, and Elon,” Trump added. “Wipe out their salaries.” To Pam Bondi, who sat primly beside him in the armor-plated sedan, Trump explained confidentially: “We’ll need that money to cover your costs to convict and conduct whatever executions might be necessary.”
“Oh, Sir!” was all Bondi could say.
“No worries,” he reassured her. “People abdicate everywhere I go. All I do is accept. And now that I’m the law, who needs a congress?”
- https://www.whitehouse.gov/fact-sheets/2025/02/fact-sheet-president-donald-j-trump-reins-in-independent-agencies-to-restore-a-government-that-answers-to-the-american-people/ ↩︎
- Federal Trade Commission (FTC); Federal Communications Commission (FCC); Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). ↩︎
Getting hard to tell who is kicking who now! Lots of news reports about pushback from red states.