The Man Who Would Be in the Middle
If, to meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin on August 15, 2025, Trump had been obliged to ride a donkey to Alaska, he most likely would have given the summit — no matter what was on the luncheon menu — a pass. But because we U.S. citizens kindly furnish our donkey with the biggest personal jet known to civilization, Trump will travel anywhere for anything so long as he can ride in that.
And so it came to be that Trump boarded his beloved Air Force One for a breezy seven-hour flight to Anchorage. A 16-member entourage accompanied him, crammed for national security reasons into the luggage area where they endured knee-to-knee intimacy reacquainting them with the nearly forgotten term “cattle class.” But all were hyper-pleased to be along in order to witness Trump’s big chance at diplomatic glory. Yes, their president was going to lock eyeballs with Putin, paralyze him with intense and nimble repartee, overwhelm him with a searing stream of fulminating rhetoric to finally wrest from that inscrutable little Russian giant what Trump said he would be very angry if he did not agree to: a ceasefire in Ukraine.
It didn’t work. Whether Trump’s locking of eyeballs had lost their hypnotic power or his incendiary rhetoric didn’t cut through tough Russian hide, something went awry. We can be confident that Trump was right in the middle of spellbinding Putin with his velvet persuasions when suddenly the magic stopped, and the meeting was terminated. Because this episode of Trump’s master-class statesmanship was not televised, we will never know what kind of browbeating Putin was forced to endure before the plug was pulled, but we can all be thankful — for Putin’s sake — that J.D. Vance was not present to administer his widely admired knee-to-the-gut blow. We do know, as with Zelensky a half-year earlier, that Putin didn’t get his lunch.
What actually happened comes up murky despite the presence of that 16-member American entourage.
We outsiders were told the “summit” concluded early because the two got along so well that they realized there was nothing to discuss. Trump agreed with Putin in just about every respect — as he had the last time they met and the time before that.
What actually happened comes up murky despite the presence of that 16-member American entourage. Perhaps during Trump’s fiery two-and-a-half-hour showdown with Putin they had been stretching their limbs at the coffee machine or had trotted over to a nearby hotel, whose printer, they found out, they could use for free.
Once the aborted meeting did become known, questions abounded: Had Trump taken the wimpy Russian potentate to the mat? Had he roughed him up with stiff and unyielding arguments for why further assault, murder, and destruction in Ukraine would not be tolerated by America? Did he remind Putin of the punishing secondary sanctions he would impose to finally wring off Russia’s financial support to continue the war? Perhaps Trump pointed out that it was nonsense to continue fighting while negotiating peace. Or said it was just plain stupid for Putin to expect Ukraine to hand over its four easternmost oblasts before peace talks began. Surely, at the very least, Trump made it very clear that he would not be Putin’s friend if Putin did not agree to a cease-fire.
It turns out that two people did know how those mysterious talks developed because they were at Trump’s side as our president wooed the coy, but sticky, tricky Putin. They were, by name and aptitude, New York real estate developer (another one!) Steve Witkoff and Marco Rubio, slippery son of Cuban immigrants. They were the spokesmen who appeared in the days after the summit on national TV to blast the American public with the straight dope in order to disabuse puzzled U.S. citizens about the apparent nothing that happened at that great summit. Those two instant giants of diplomacy — the real estate guy and the step-Cuban guy — informed anxious viewers that, in fact, yes, it was true that their boss had warned there would be “severe consequences” and punishing secondary sanctions if Putin did not agree to stop the war. But now they were here to explain why Putin’s not agreeing to stop the war was a very positive development indeed. In fact, they let us know, what Trump had achieved was a revolutionary breakthrough in inching their way forward toward a path.
Points and quotes according to the sharp-witted real estate investor:
Mr. Putin had edged toward making some concessions . . .
“We are intent on trying to hammer out a peace deal that ends the fighting . . . quicker than a cease-fire.” He did not mention how quick that would have to be to beat out a cease-fire.
“We cut through all kinds of issues [that needed discussion].” This statement leaves it to the layman to figure out why not discussing necessary issues is advantageous.
No cease-fire deal had been reached because Trump had “pivoted” off into another area of discussion. No doubt the area he pivoted off to was as critically important as the cease-fire bit. But he forgot to “pivot” back to the cease-fire deal.
“I don’t know that we have the time now to go through all the different issues.” That is certainly true since, with Trump doing all that pivoting, the main players in Anchorage didn’t have time to go through all the issues either.
According to the son of immigrants, bless his Cuban heart:
“We made progress in the sense that we identified potential areas of agreement.”
“We are not at the precipice of a peace agreement.” Oh, that we were.
According to Trump, who had plenty of advice for Zelensky:
It was up to Zelensky to come up with a deal.
It was up to Zelensky to give Russia the land Russia invaded Ukraine to take.
It was up to Zelensky to demilitarize and not bother Russia anymore.
Zelensky was to give up on joining NATO and accept Russia’s control of Crimea.
Zelensky could “end the war with Russia almost immediately” if he only surrendered. Again, the layman is left to worry what might happen in that slipshod gap in time between Ukraine’s surrender and the “almost immediate” end of the war.
“BIG PROGRESS ON RUSSIA. STAY TUNED!”
At this point, it is just too obvious that Trump has planted himself in the middle of sensitive negotiations he can only mar. With nothing to add, he is the indigestible man in the middle, ferociously ambitious of gaining renown as a peacemaker when he understands nothing of diplomacy, discussion, or dialog. Ignorant of the meaning of concession, he has botched things yet again. We have been around this bend before with Putin and Zelensky. If no one moves Trump out of the way, the Russian devastation of Ukraine will rage on until ragged Ukraine collapses, and it won’t be entirely Putin’s fault.
One speck of progress to come out of the Anchorage maneuver is the spectacular exposure of Trump’s cowardice. Oh dear, beloved Don Quixote, how we miss you! A legendary man of courage and heart, he did not shrink from tilting at what he believed were ferocious giants — those windmills — undaunted by the risk they posed to himself in order to defend chivalry. To avoid facing foes to defend his constituents, Trump feigns friendship with them, declares their aims to be our aims, trumpets the new alliance as a historic conquest, and elicits praise from his sycophants for his statecraft in selling us out and bringing us closer to danger.
Dear, stupid Trump, do you think we don’t know you once again did nothing? And besides doing nothing, you threw away another lunch. If you want to whizz around in the air all day, just say so and we will be happy to strap you into a roller coaster for a week. As for footing the bill for that million-dollar plane to fly you to yet another of your fiascos, we may have no choice, but next time you can bring your own damn lunch.