{"id":4429,"date":"2026-02-14T18:01:22","date_gmt":"2026-02-14T17:01:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/?p=4429"},"modified":"2026-02-14T21:48:17","modified_gmt":"2026-02-14T20:48:17","slug":"a-toilet-for-miss-kristi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/2026\/02\/14\/a-toilet-for-miss-kristi\/","title":{"rendered":"A Toilet for Miss Kristi"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure data-wp-context=\"{&quot;imageId&quot;:&quot;69efa00106eec&quot;}\" data-wp-interactive=\"core\/image\" data-wp-key=\"69efa00106eec\" class=\"wp-block-image size-full wp-lightbox-container\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"785\" height=\"523\" data-wp-class--hide=\"state.isContentHidden\" data-wp-class--show=\"state.isContentVisible\" data-wp-init=\"callbacks.setButtonStyles\" data-wp-on--click=\"actions.showLightbox\" data-wp-on--load=\"callbacks.setButtonStyles\" data-wp-on-window--resize=\"callbacks.setButtonStyles\" src=\"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/noem-el-salvador-prisoners-3-2.jpg\" alt=\"US Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem standing in front of prisoners of the Terrorist Confinement Center, in Tecoluca, El Salvador, Wednesday, March 26, 2025.\" class=\"wp-image-3990\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/noem-el-salvador-prisoners-3-2.jpg 785w, https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/noem-el-salvador-prisoners-3-2-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 785px) 100vw, 785px\" \/><button\n\t\t\tclass=\"lightbox-trigger\"\n\t\t\ttype=\"button\"\n\t\t\taria-haspopup=\"dialog\"\n\t\t\taria-label=\"Enlarge\"\n\t\t\tdata-wp-init=\"callbacks.initTriggerButton\"\n\t\t\tdata-wp-on--click=\"actions.showLightbox\"\n\t\t\tdata-wp-style--right=\"state.imageButtonRight\"\n\t\t\tdata-wp-style--top=\"state.imageButtonTop\"\n\t\t>\n\t\t\t<svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"12\" height=\"12\" fill=\"none\" viewBox=\"0 0 12 12\">\n\t\t\t\t<path fill=\"#fff\" d=\"M2 0a2 2 0 0 0-2 2v2h1.5V2a.5.5 0 0 1 .5-.5h2V0H2Zm2 10.5H2a.5.5 0 0 1-.5-.5V8H0v2a2 2 0 0 0 2 2h2v-1.5ZM8 12v-1.5h2a.5.5 0 0 0 .5-.5V8H12v2a2 2 0 0 1-2 2H8Zm2-12a2 2 0 0 1 2 2v2h-1.5V2a.5.5 0 0 0-.5-.5H8V0h2Z\" \/>\n\t\t\t<\/svg>\n\t\t<\/button><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">I know that habeas corpus rule. My $50,000 watch stays with me. And my hat, too.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Catering Services on Good Behavior<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-drop-cap\">Yes, U.S. Congressman Jamie Raskin (MD-08) just conducted an unannounced oversight visit to an ICE field facility in Baltimore, Maryland.<sup data-fn=\"0a36a50d-9c77-43f3-a918-c5270cbd7dc3\" class=\"fn\"><a href=\"#0a36a50d-9c77-43f3-a918-c5270cbd7dc3\" id=\"0a36a50d-9c77-43f3-a918-c5270cbd7dc3-link\">1<\/a><\/sup>&nbsp;Yes, Representative Raskin says 60 men were packed into one room shoulder to shoulder. Yes, they were in there 24 hours a day every day. Yes, there were no \u2014 not bananas \u2014 shower facilities. No shower facilities. (No bananas, either.) Yes, they had just one toilet, but it was very conveniently placed in the very room where all those naughty men were stuffed.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And guess what? There\u2019s room for one more! Yes sirree, getting fired or impeached \u2014 she could also resign \u2014 will give DHS secretary Kristi Noem the best chance ever to visit her jail all incognito and realistic like to see what a reign of terror feels like from the inside.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But her experience won\u2019t be that bad. Not at all. Because as soon Miss Kristi gets in there, Congresspeople \u2014 who love her in all her outfits \u2014 will grab some of her $75 billion budget no matter how loud Congressional Democrats squeal, explain to President Trump why it\u2019s sort of important, send out bids, get the very best Trump-affiliate contractor, and construct a second prison toilet just for her in no time and \u2014 no convenience spared \u2014 in that very self-same room. With her snuggled in there with her very own toilet, we\u2019ll just see if upstart Raskin raises any fuss after that. One regrettable matter, however, cannot be addressed: Miss Kristi will have to negotiate shower privileges with ICE guards without her inmate buddies getting wise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-footnotes\"><li id=\"0a36a50d-9c77-43f3-a918-c5270cbd7dc3\"><a href=\"https:\/\/raskin.house.gov\/press-releases?id=5B034C13-C1CA-4F78-A8F2-3D6DB1146DD9\">https:\/\/raskin.house.gov\/press-releases?id=5B034C13-C1CA-4F78-A8F2-3D6DB1146DD9<\/a> <a href=\"#0a36a50d-9c77-43f3-a918-c5270cbd7dc3-link\" aria-label=\"Jump to footnote reference 1\">\u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li><\/ol>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sure, Rep. Jamie Raskin may have said 60 men were packed into one room in an ICE field facility. But guess what? There\u2019s room for one more! Yes sirree, getting impeached will give DHS secretary Kristi Noem the best chance ever to visit her own jail all incognito and realistic like.\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/2026\/02\/14\/a-toilet-for-miss-kristi\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"[{\"content\":\"<a href=\\\"https:\/\/raskin.house.gov\/press-releases?id=5B034C13-C1CA-4F78-A8F2-3D6DB1146DD9\\\">https:\/\/raskin.house.gov\/press-releases?id=5B034C13-C1CA-4F78-A8F2-3D6DB1146DD9<\/a>\",\"id\":\"0a36a50d-9c77-43f3-a918-c5270cbd7dc3\"}]"},"categories":[109,107,122],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4429","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-day-in-life","category-satire","category-web-ditty"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4429","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4429"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4429\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4429"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4429"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cmccutcheon.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4429"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}